A Sandpiper
to Bring You Joy
.
She
was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live.
I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the
world begins to close in on me. She was building a sandcastle or something
and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea.
"Hello,"
she said. I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with
a small child.
"I'm
building," she said.
"I see
that. What is it?" I asked, not caring.
"Oh,
I don't know, I just like the feel of sand."
"That
sounds good," I thought, and slipped off my shoes. A sandpiper glided by.
"That's
a joy," the child said.
"It's
a what?"
"It's
a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy." The bird went gliding
down the beach.
"Good-bye
joy," I muttered to myself, "hello pain," and turned to walk on. I was
depressed; my life seemed completely out of balance.
"What's
your name?" She wouldn't give up.
"Ruth,"
I answered. "I'm Ruth Peterson."
"Mine's
Wendy... I'm six."
"Hi,
Wendy."
She giggled.
"You're funny," she said. In spite of my gloom I laughed too and walked
on. Her musical giggle followed me.
"Come
again, Mrs. P," she called. "We'll have another happy day."
The days
and weeks that followed belong to others: a group of unruly Boy Scouts,
PTA meetings, and an ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as
I took my hands out of the dishwater.
"I need
a sandpiper," I said to myself, gathering up my coat. The ver-changing
balm of the seashore awaited me. The breeze was chilly, but I strode along,
trying to recapture the serenity I needed. I had forgotten the child and
was startled when she appeared.
"Hello,
Mrs. P," she said. "Do you want to play?"
"What
did you have in mind?" I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.
"I don't
know, you say."
"How
about charades?" I asked sarcastically.
The tinkling
laughter burst forth again. "I don't know what that is."
"Then
let's just walk." Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her
face. "Where do you live?" I asked.
"Over
there." She pointed toward a row of summer cottages.
Strange,
I thought, in winter. "Where do you go to school?"
"I don't
go to school. Mommy says we're on vacation." She chattered little girl
talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was on other things. When
I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day. Feeling surprisingly
better, I smiled at her and agreed.
Three
weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic. I was in no
mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch
and felt like demanding she keep her child at home.
"Look,
if you don't mind," I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me, "I'd rather
be alone today."
She seems
unusually pale and out of breath. "Why?" she asked.
I turned
to her and shouted, "Because my mother died!" and thought, get a
grip, why was I saying this to a little child?
"Oh,"
she said quietly, "then this is a bad day."
"Yes,
and yesterday and the day before and -- oh, go away!"
"Did
it hurt?"
"Did
what hurt?" I was exasperated with her, with myself.
"When
she died?"
"Of course
it hurt!" I snapped, misunderstanding, wrapped up in myself. I strode off.
A month
or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn't there. Feeling
guilty, ashamed and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up to the
cottage after my walk and knocked at the door. A drawn looking young woman
with honey-colored hair opened the door.
"Hello,"
I said. "I'm Ruth Peterson. I missed your little girl today and wondered
where she was."
"Oh yes,
Mrs. Peterson, please come in. Wendy talked of you so much. I'm afraid
I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance, please, accept my apologies."
"Not
at all -- she's a delightful child," I said, suddenly realizing that I
meant it. "Where is she?"
"Wendy
died last week, Mrs. Peterson. She had leukemia. Maybe she didn't tell
you." Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. My breath caught.
"She
loved this beach; so when she asked to come, we couldn't say no. She seemed
so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days. But the
last few weeks, she declined rapidly..." her voice faltered.
"She
left something for you... if only I can find it. Could you wait a moment
while I look?"
I nodded
stupidly, my mind racing for something, anything, to say to this lovely
young woman. She handed me a smeared envelope, with MRS. P printed in bold,
childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues -- a yellow
beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed:
A
SANDPIPER
TO
BRING
YOU
JOY.
Tears welled
up in my eyes, and a heart that had almost forgotten to love opened wide.
I took Wendy's mother in my arms.
"I'm
so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,"
I muttered
over and over, and we wept together.
The precious
little picture is framed now and hangs in my study. Six words -- one for
each year of her life -- that speak to me of harmony, courage, and
undemanding love. A gift from a child with sea-blue eyes and hair the color
of sand, who taught me the gift of love.
written by Ruth Peterson


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