Outside
 

"Hello in there!  Anybody hear me?"  I got locked outside again last night.  Oh it happens.  Usually when someone leaves the door open longer than a couple of seconds....I dash outside for a quick jaunt through the neighborhood.  I see if there are any itinerant rodents or lost birds I can eat, oops, I mean with whom I can play.

I like to stare down a timid dog or two...watch nocturnal beasts begin to make their rounds.  Trouble is, when I sneak out like that no one knows I am gone.  So I come home and the lights are out with not a human around to let me in.  I scratch at the door a bit.  Nothing.  I go around back and peer through the glass door.  Aha!  The Big Owner has fallen asleep on the couch again.  I scratch at the door.  Nothing.  I meow. Nothing.  I butt my head on the glass.  Nothing.

He's out like a light.  I know!  Nothing gets the Big O more upset than when I hang on the window screen.  Laying those cat claws into that mesh and squeezing just a little bit has him choking on dollar signs every time.  Up I went.  Nothing.

I am hanging there, all fours. Nothing, he isn't moving.  Squeeze the claws a little...he'll hear the tear (Big Owners have good hearing when losing money is at stake). Nothing.  Worse yet, now my claws are stuck in the screen!  I'm hangin'-20 with the Big Owner snoring on the couch! I can't get down!  I rocked back and forth banging the screen on the window.  Yes!

 He woke up and staggered to the door.  He stepped outside and extracted me from the screen.  He was so tired he just gently set me down and staggered back inside, turned and waited for me to follow him in.  I thought about it, but decided to stay outside and play a little longer.
"Why go inside now?"  I turned my tail and walked away. 
"I'll wake you up again later, pal."

It was a good day.

written by  Mark Mason