Nancy and Tonya's
Squirm-o-Rama
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I don't usually write about sports other than baseball, but after the Fox Sports skating special with Tonya Harding
and Nancy Kerrigan last Thursday I just can't help myself. But first, a word of advice for CBS Olympic coverage:
FOR GOD'S SAKE, STOP SKIPPING AROUND ALL OVER JAPAN AND SHOW US SOMETHING FOR MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES AT A TIME! I CAN'T GET INTERESTED IN ANYTHING BEFORE YOU YANK US AWAY TO SOMETHING ELSE! LIGHT ON SOMETHING AND STAY THERE! AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Sorry. Well, as I was saying.... That over-hyped Tonya-and-Nancy show was one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever seen on television. How Tonya Harding could find out that her husband and his cronies had whacked Nancy Kerrigan and then, with that knowledge in her mind, go out and win the 1994 U. S. Championship as if nothing had happened, speaks volumes about the cold hollow void she has where her heart should be. And that's assuming she didn't know about the attack beforehand. I know she was in a bad marriage and all that. You've had a hard life, Tonya? That's too bad. Join the club. So now Tonya Harding drifts through life, going through men like they're Kleenex, causing disturbances in bars, and generally looking more pathetic with each passing year. She sees a chance to make a cool $100,000 (the reported amount) and jumps at it, and still can't bring herself to apologize for her behavior. She said that she was "sorry for being in the wrong place at the wrong time," which is worse than no apology at all. You know who I feel sorry for? I feel sorry for a pitcher on the women's softball team at USC. She's probably the best in her sport in the nation and possibly the world. Unfortunately, her name is Tonya Harding. For the rest of her life, this Tonya Harding will have to pipe up "No relation" whenever she introduces herself to anybody at all. I was most surprised, however, with Nancy Kerrigan. One hundred thousand dollars should be a lot easier to get for Nancy Kerrigan than it is for Tonya Harding. Why couldn't Nancy simply tell Fox Sports, "Thanks, but no thanks?" No Nancy, no show, and no big payday for Tonya. If I were Nancy Kerrigan I'd say, "It's worth $100,000 to me to keep $100,000 out of Tonya Harding's hands. I lost several weeks of training after the attack, and since I lost the gold medal by the slimmest of margins, Tonya and her pals cost me the gold. So to hell with her." On the other hand, perhaps Nancy thought, "Maybe Tonya will use the money to buy a new pickup truck, and maybe she'll wrap it around a tree." More likely, Nancy's husband-manager put her up to it. You could see how uncomfortable Nancy looked during the joint interview, which leads me to believe that the whole thing wasn't Nancy's idea. This idea probably came from the same manager who pushed an exhausted Nancy into a whirlwind of appearances in parades, on Saturday Night Live, and many other things for which she wasn't prepared immediately after the Olympics, which started the anti-Nancy backlash and destroyed her viability as a celebrity product endorser. Isn't it sad? Both Tonya and Nancy are the victims of bad advice from their husbands. |