by David Fleitz

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dlfleitz@wcnet.org

So, the Tigers finally won a game.

They lost all of their first 11 contests, but now they've put one in the win column.  Now all the jokes about how bad they are will stop.

A sign outside the new Detroit football field says, "Go Lions!"  Someone wrote underneath it, "And take the Tigers with you!"

Whenever a team starts out losing a lot of games, all the same jokes appear and the newspapers and on the talk shows.  The 1988 Orioles, who started out 0-21, got their share.  So did the expansion Mets in 1962 and the Cleveland Indians through the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s.

The same gags make the rounds, but the team name changes.  They've probably been told for decades, and I'll bet Jay Leno tells the same jokes about the Tigers that Johnny Carson told about the Orioles 14 years ago.  But now Leno and all the other comedians will have to move on to a new topic of discussion.

How are the Tiger infielders like Michael Jackson?  They all wear a glove on one hand for no particular reason.

At least now the Tiger management can see how much work lies ahead of them.  If the Tigers started out 5-5 or so, they'd be talking about how they could challenge for the pennant if everyone plays up to their potential and if they could find another starting pitcher.  Now the team realizes that they need to start over.  They are 10 games back after 11 games, and they know they're not going to win anything this year.  The 0-11 start was a much-needed dose of reality.

Public address announcement at Comerica Park:  Will the parents with 9 kids please come and pick them up?  They're beating the Tigers 5-1.

Now, the Tigers have a new manager and a new general manager, and that's a step in the right direction.  Perhaps the new bosses can resist the urge to move the players through the system too quickly.  Maybe they'll let Brandon Inge, Eric Munson, and Andres Torres stay at Toledo for a full season, instead of rushing them to Detroit before they're ready and destroying their progress.  If so, then maybe we won't have to listen to all those terrible jokes again.

Little boy at a custody hearing: I don't want to live with my mother.  She beats me.
Judge: Well, how about your father?
Little boy: I don't want to live with my father either.  He beats me too.
Judge: So who do you want to live with?
Little boy: I want to live with the Detroit Tigers.  They never beat anybody.